As opposed to my neighbor, Jerry

Twilight Hallmark Ornament

True story: because it’s never to early to start shilling Christmas shit, the 2011 Hallmark Keepsake Dreambook is here in July. For those not in the know, it’s a catalog of all the ornaments and decorations that Hallmark offers. A lot of them are licensed designs of well known characters. My girl picked one up and was thumbing through it when she came across this:

Twilight Hallmark Ornament
A timeless classic that should be hanging on everyone's tree.

“What the fuck does that have to do with Christmas?” I wondered aloud. “I’m pretty sure Native American werewolves don’t celebrate it, and vampires are against holy water, crosses and all that other religious shit. What a stupid license.”

My girl comes back with, “They’re just Twilight characters. They’re not REAL vampires.”

About smile from The Lower East Side

An American Legend.

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