Continuing with the masturbation theme, I had this Cyndi Lauper song in mind because she was on WWE Raw a few weeks back with Wendi Richter presenting The One Man Southern Rock Band (that’s an actual wrestler, I’m not making that shit up) with a gold record, basically for being a jerk off. I was going to embed the original video for the song, and point out that Wendi Richter is the waitress with the big earrings, you can spot Captain Lou Albano in rollers, and the guy that plays the biker/love interest is Dave Wolff, who was Lauper’s producer at the time, but I can’t find jack shit about him on the internet, except this old clip of Roddy Piper power slamming him after presenting Captain Lou with a gold record and kicking Cyndi in the face (which is the scenario Lauper’s recent WWE appearance was referencing).
Well, when I searched YouTube, the second hit immediately caught my attention on several “What the fuck?!?” levels, so naturally I had to embed it to share my awe with you. This is a video of Lucy Lawless doing a cover of She Bop live on stage. I have no idea why; I didn’t know she was a singer, I just thought she was an SF/Fantasy ‘Crocodile’ Dundee. I also haven’t a clue as to why Lucy Lawless is dressed as a rather sapphic schoolgirl while singing. The burlesque dancer makes sense to me because I think if I was a rock singer, I would have a burlesque dancer bury her head in my crotch; that shit would be in my rider. I also don’t know why it took me more than three years to even know this existed. I can’t help but feel like I would have been up on this sooner if I was more of a lesbian, because the only explanation that makes sense is that Lucy Lawless knows her base and is playing to it. Fucking well, I might add, in case that’s not clear. The audio on this kind of sucks, but most of you don’t give a shit about that, in fact you’re not even reading this part right now because when you got to “sapphic schoolgirl” earlier you skipped right to the video. Happy Friday!
If the embedded video doesn’t load, click to watch
Lucy Lawless performs “She Bop” as Sapphy the Catholic Schoolgirl at YouTube.
P.S. If you got here by searching for “Keala Kennelly lesbian” or some variant of that phrase, since apparently Google thinks I’m the expert on that subject, feel free to join that conversation here — smile