I’m pretty sure she’s not a lesbian

Ever since John From Cincinnati premiered, I’ve been getting hits from folks searching for "John From Cincinnati lesbian." I assume they’re looking for information on tomboy surfer Keala Kennelly, who plays tomboy surfer Kai on the show. As far as I know, neither of them (Keala or Kai) are lesbians, but I could be wrong. In any case, if you’re one of those folks intrigued by Keala, check out her profiles at lat34.com and Surfer Magazine, then check out this video of her in action, then come back here to watch the six minute interview with her below (courtesy of HBO).

If the embedded video doesn’t load, click to watch
Keala Kennelly – John From Cincinnatti Interview at YouTube.

Family jewels means testicles you know (420,000 could also be a drug reference)

CIA Logo

The American Central Intelligence Agency announced that they are releasing documents detailing abuses from the 1950s to the 1970s. There’s some crazy shit in there, like hardcore surveillance, assassination plots, and brainwashing! They brainwashed "unwitting" people. I want to read that shit. How the fuck is someone "unwitting" to being brainwashed?! Did they use the Jedi Mind Tricktm?! Was sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll involved?! If I didn’t read the BBC News story, I would’ve thought that hackers planted this after ruining Harry Potter for everyone. Supposedly these documents are being released to present a complete picture of history. You know why they really want you to take a closer look at their history, don’t you? It’s in order to distract you from all the fucked up shit they’re doing now.

If I were a lesbian surfer, I’d be Melissa (this week, anyway)

I’m going to talk about the first episode of Curl Girls The Series, so you might want to take 30 seconds and watch this video to get everyone’s names straight; alternatively, you can refer back to the video as you read the article.

Meet Logo‘s Curl GirlsIf the embedded video doesn’t load, click to watch
Curl Girls Intro at YouTube.

Continue reading If I were a lesbian surfer, I’d be Melissa (this week, anyway)

I’m too old for this shit

Die Hard Bruce Willis still
"I don't fucking smoke anymore either!"

So Die Hard 4 is rated PG-13 after all. I don’t want to go, and don’t give me, “Well, I like that it’s PG-13, ‘cuz now I can see it, ‘cuz my parents are sooooo lame they won’t let me see R! PG-13 can still rock!” Fuck you, you were still swimming around in your father’s balls when Die Hard With A Vengeance was in theaters. Why should I give a fuck whether or not you can get in to see the new one? What do you know anyway? You just said you’ve never seen an R rated movie! That being said, that fact that it’s PG-13 is the least of the reasons I’m no longer interested. The best shit I’ve seen in years is Mr. Bean’s Holiday and that’s rated G. Of course, there will eventually be an unrated release of Die Hard 4, maybe by then I’ll want to see it. Before I continue, I just want to say that frankly, if a PG-13 rating for Die Hard 4 is your biggest concern in life and you’re over the age of 12, you just might be a fucking mope. Also, you have your head up your ass if a movie’s parental advisory rating is your primary barometer for the potiential quality of said film. I have a ton of reasons why Die Hard 4 looks like hardcore junk to me. The PG-13 is just the final nail in the coffin.
Continue reading I’m too old for this shit

See Michael Moore’s SICKO now!

Sicko movie poster
Rated PG-13 for brief strong language.

(Updated 5:21PM) I saw Michael Moore‘s Sicko a few weeks ago at one of the test screening things where you fill out the card at the end. I didn’t blog about it, because they would prefer that you didn’t until the movie is out and I can hold up my end of a deal. Well, the movie is not quite out yet, but it hit the internet for a while over the weekend. I had it embedded below courtesy of Google Video, but I had some lunch, ran a few errands and watched the first John From Cincinnati (finally), and it was gone when I came back.

It’s really fucking good, not as political as his others, despite what the advertising wants you to believe. I had one minor problem with it (maybe not so minor, depending on how you look at it, because if I was really a blockhead, that one thing would have negated everything that came before), which I won’t discuss until someone posts a comment and asks me about it.

In the meantime, feel free to watch the video below. It’s from a press conference at the 2004 Cannes Film Festival, where he was promoting Fahrenheit 9/11, and was asked how he feels about it being distributed over file sharing networks without explicit authorization:

Continue reading See Michael Moore’s SICKO now!

All the pretty colors

My friend who’s seven time zones away pointed out the some of the links on the blog took her to Amazon.com to buy something. You might have noticed that there’s advertising on the website if you read the blog there; this isn’t a commercial endeavor, but I do pay for it out of my pocket, and I don’t make a ton of money to begin with, hence the integrated advertising. The links to Amazon.com do provide good info, like trailers or clips of shows sometimes, and info about a movie or band, and people’s opinions. I don’t get paid unless someone makes a purchase anyway. Nevertheless, her concern was duly noted, and as such, links that will take you merchandise pages (usually at Amazon.com) are now colored green orange (at the website, RSS/e-mail readers may vary).

If everybody had an ocean

Mr. Pipeline comic art
This art was inspired by a photo at Gerry Lopez Surfboards.

I love surfing. Not that I can. I can’t even swim, but I ever since I was a kid, I have had a deep romantic love of surfing. If you would have asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have answered, "Gerry Lopez!" Of course, I was the only one in my hometown who gave a shit about surfing. Historically, in fact, most of America doesn’t seem to take it seriously as a sport, considering how often surf competitions are broadcast on network television, which is never. Well, I think I remember seeing it on ABC’s Wide World of Sports once, but that was like, 30 years ago, so maybe I’m remembering it wrong. Surfing may be coming into it’s own in the States, though, if the current crop of surfing related entertainment hitting movie theaters and television screens these days catches on. Here’s my guide to the surf related entertainment out now, and what will be out in the next few months.

Continue reading If everybody had an ocean

The show Desperate Housewives should have been

The Riches
Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver as Wayne and Dahlia Malloy (aka Doug and Shireen Rich) from The Riches.


I just got done watching the season finale of The Riches, and I must say that this series has become one of my favorites. If you’re not familiar with it, Eddie Izzard and Minnie Driver star as the parents of a family of con artists who, due to a series of unusual circumstances, are forced take over the lives of a wealthy suburban family; but it really is about the cost of the American dream, and not just in dollars and cents.


Continue reading The show Desperate Housewives should have been

Tackleberry would be proud

Greek Police Car

If you’re ever in Greece, be careful if you drive. Especially of the police. If they don’t steal your car outright, they just might shoot your ass for double parking! I know the Greek police have a history of brutality and corruption, but shooting people for minor parking offenses is pretty hardcore. Reminds me of Clint Eastwood in Magnum Force, when he says, “where do you draw the line? Pretty soon you’ll execute someone for jaywalking, or you’ll execute your neighbor ’cause his dog took a shit on your lawn.”

Continue reading Tackleberry would be proud

from The Lower East Side

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