So I’m watching Grease 2 on Cinemax right now. I haven’t seen it in years, and I never realized how fucking perverted it is. This is a hornier sequel than American Pie 2. It’s also kind of better. Maybe it isn’t. The closer it gets to the end, the more it starts to unravel; but it’s nearly impossible to dislike a movie in which a dude is so horny, he not only fakes a “nuclear-oid” war in order to get laid, he has the audacity to serenade his girl with a song assuring her that giving up the pussy is not slutty in the least, but is, in fact, patriotic and in the best interests of no less than The New York Yankees!

I get why they’re all so hot and bothered. The cast of Grease 2 is definitely sexy with a capital SEX. Michelle Pfeiffer is hotter than hell in this. I thought that my memory had exaggerated how hot she was singing Cool Rider, but watching the movie as a grown man, I find myself with a bigger crush on her than I had as a kid. When she climbs to the top of that ladder. . .

There isn’t any subtext in this movie whatsoever; there’s a musical number called Reproduction which actually contains the lyric:

Mr. Stewart, is it true that guys like you
You know, mature and all,
Carry some protection with them,
For sexual occasions?!?

I shit you not, that’s the lyric!! Check out the clip from the movie if you don’t believe me (before we get sued for a billion dollars):

Continue reading I got your pistil right here! →