Well, technically, Mickey is Cilla’s older brother, but not every Dad is a father. Anyway, in this episode of the UK series, Shameless, Mickey is feeling pretty overworked and underappreciated by the rest of his family in his role as Cilla’s caregiver until he devises a money making scheme that is simultaneously noble, reprehensible, brilliant and utterly fucking daft. Happy Father’s Day!
I met Jim Kelly over the weekend and just want to quickly note that his Official Facebook Fan Page is now up. Mr. Kelly also has a domain registered for his Official Website for all of the people not on Facebook, but it hasn’t gone up yet; he only recently started building his online presence. Avoid the fakers, the posers and the identity thieves and connect with the man directly. If you have the chance to meet him at an event, signing, convention and you’re a fan of his and his work, take that chance and talk to him. You won’t regret it, unless you don’t come correct, that is.
I just got the opportunity to meet Jim Kelly, one the best martial artists in the world and star of many classic action films. He’s a real cool down to earth cat who took time to talk with me. I was so star struck, I reverted to childhood, my voice even got all high and shit. What was the coolest thing about our talk was that Jim is such a humble man, rather than go on about himself, he was very interested in what I was doing. In addition to the picture he posed for with me, I also got an autographed 8×10 from Three The Hard Way. For those who haven’t seen it, check it out. I’ve embedded a clip below; if it seems familiar, Keenan Ivory Wayans and the late Steve James paid homage to it in I’m Gonna Git You Sucka.
A short movie starring me. For more info, check the Internet Movie Database.
So Die Hard 4 is rated PG-13 after all. I don’t want to go, and don’t give me, “Well, I like that it’s PG-13, ‘cuz now I can see it, ‘cuz my parents are sooooo lame they won’t let me see R! PG-13 can still rock!” Fuck you, you were still swimming around in your father’s balls when Die Hard With A Vengeance was in theaters. Why should I give a fuck whether or not you can get in to see the new one? What do you know anyway? You just said you’ve never seen an R rated movie! That being said, that fact that it’s PG-13 is the least of the reasons I’m no longer interested. The best shit I’ve seen in years is Mr. Bean’s Holiday and that’s rated G. Of course, there will eventually be an unrated release of Die Hard 4, maybe by then I’ll want to see it. Before I continue, I just want to say that frankly, if a PG-13 rating for Die Hard 4 is your biggest concern in life and you’re over the age of 12, you just might be a fucking mope. Also, you have your head up your ass if a movie’s parental advisory rating is your primary barometer for the potiential quality of said film. I have a ton of reasons why Die Hard 4 looks like hardcore junk to me. The PG-13 is just the final nail in the coffin.
Continue reading I’m too old for this shit
I love surfing. Not that I can. I can’t even swim, but I ever since I was a kid, I have had a deep romantic love of surfing. If you would have asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have answered, "Gerry Lopez!" Of course, I was the only one in my hometown who gave a shit about surfing. Historically, in fact, most of America doesn’t seem to take it seriously as a sport, considering how often surf competitions are broadcast on network television, which is never. Well, I think I remember seeing it on ABC’s Wide World of Sports once, but that was like, 30 years ago, so maybe I’m remembering it wrong. Surfing may be coming into it’s own in the States, though, if the current crop of surfing related entertainment hitting movie theaters and television screens these days catches on. Here’s my guide to the surf related entertainment out now, and what will be out in the next few months.
Just flipped over to BBC America and they’re showing the complete 2005 season of Doctor Who today. If you’re in America, haven’t seen it yet and have cable, check it out if you can. As good as David Tennant is in the role, Christopher Eccelston is the fucking Doctor! Don’t take our word for it, watch the video below and see what some regular folks thought.
Billie Piper along for the ride as the impossibly sexy Rose Tyler, sharp writing by Russell Davies (and others), tight direction by Euros Lyn (and others) and strong support from Noel Clarke and Camille Coduri made this series the new bar to be reached.
UPDATE/CORRECTION: BBC America isn’t showing the complete 2005 series today; they skipped over the episodes “The Unquiet Dead,” “Aliens of London,” and “World War III.”
My friend who is seven time zones away checked out the blog and gave me some feedback. Since she hasn’t seen the latest season of 24, the conversation went something like this:
Ricky’s still so cute!!
You wouldn’t have thought so if you saw him choke a bitch on 24.
Was it autoerotic asphyxiation?
No, he was torturing her.
You don’t have a picture of that. You have a cute picture up.
I then explained that the episode aired about 6 weeks ago, when I didn’t have this blog. As such, I didn’t make screen caps or save the episode, because 24 has been kind of sucking lately (not hard, but just enough to annoy me, more on that in a bit). I did try to find screen caps of the torture scene, but didn’t come across any. I did find a video that has clips of the scene, but it’s kind of taken out of context.
So I’m watching Grease 2 on Cinemax right now. I haven’t seen it in years, and I never realized how fucking perverted it is. This is a hornier sequel than American Pie 2. It’s also kind of better. Maybe it isn’t. The closer it gets to the end, the more it starts to unravel; but it’s nearly impossible to dislike a movie in which a dude is so horny, he not only fakes a “nuclear-oid” war in order to get laid, he has the audacity to serenade his girl with a song assuring her that giving up the pussy is not slutty in the least, but is, in fact, patriotic and in the best interests of no less than The New York Yankees!
I get why they’re all so hot and bothered. The cast of Grease 2 is definitely sexy with a capital SEX. Michelle Pfeiffer is hotter than hell in this. I thought that my memory had exaggerated how hot she was singing Cool Rider, but watching the movie as a grown man, I find myself with a bigger crush on her than I had as a kid. When she climbs to the top of that ladder. . .
There isn’t any subtext in this movie whatsoever; there’s a musical number called Reproduction which actually contains the lyric:
Mr. Stewart, is it true that guys like you You know, mature and all, Carry some protection with them, For sexual occasions?!?
I shit you not, that’s the lyric!! Check out the clip from the movie if you don’t believe me (before we get sued for a billion dollars):