True story: because it’s never to early to start shilling Christmas shit, the 2011 Hallmark Keepsake Dreambook is here in July. For those not in the know, it’s a catalog of all the ornaments and decorations that Hallmark offers. A lot of them are licensed designs of well known characters. My girl picked one up and was thumbing through it when she came across this:

“What the fuck does that have to do with Christmas?” I wondered aloud. “I’m pretty sure Native American werewolves don’t celebrate it, and vampires are against holy water, crosses and all that other religious shit. What a stupid license.”

My girl comes back with, “They’re just Twilight characters. They’re not REAL vampires.”