I’m too old for this shit

Die Hard Bruce Willis still
"I don't fucking smoke anymore either!"

So Die Hard 4 is rated PG-13 after all. I don’t want to go, and don’t give me, “Well, I like that it’s PG-13, ‘cuz now I can see it, ‘cuz my parents are sooooo lame they won’t let me see R! PG-13 can still rock!” Fuck you, you were still swimming around in your father’s balls when Die Hard With A Vengeance was in theaters. Why should I give a fuck whether or not you can get in to see the new one? What do you know anyway? You just said you’ve never seen an R rated movie! That being said, that fact that it’s PG-13 is the least of the reasons I’m no longer interested. The best shit I’ve seen in years is Mr. Bean’s Holiday and that’s rated G. Of course, there will eventually be an unrated release of Die Hard 4, maybe by then I’ll want to see it. Before I continue, I just want to say that frankly, if a PG-13 rating for Die Hard 4 is your biggest concern in life and you’re over the age of 12, you just might be a fucking mope. Also, you have your head up your ass if a movie’s parental advisory rating is your primary barometer for the potiential quality of said film. I have a ton of reasons why Die Hard 4 looks like hardcore junk to me. The PG-13 is just the final nail in the coffin.
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Kent Brockman Smoking

R-Rated Simpsons Movie?

Patty And Selma Smoking
Will more lesbians now be encouraged to take up smoking?

 

The MPAA recently announced that they would take cigarette smoking into account when deciding on the rating for a movie. Certain anti-smoking groups would like movies depicting smoking to be automatically rated R. During a commercial break on the 400th (!) episode of The Simpsons tonight, an ad for the upcoming Simpsons Movie mentioned that it was unrated. (It also mentioned that it was unfinished, which is the strangest thing I’ve ever heard in a movie promo. Why even mention something like that?) This got me wondering if, given the amount of regular smoking that many of the characters engage in on the series, if The Simpsons Movie could possibly get an Rrating.

 

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