Monthly Archives: May 2007

Insomniac Non Sequitur

A quick clip and a funny thought (or is that the other way around?)

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Who's Gonna Train Me?

Before I write the post on integrated advertising, I have to take a nap so that I won’t become a rambling incoherent mess, because then the piece would suck. In the meantime, I just thought I would point out that most of the internet has some type of product placement on it. The website this blog sits on has ads on it from various. . . well, advertisers; though you may not realize that if you’re getting it through RSS or e-mail.

The clip is from a site called Revver. They host your video and integrate an ad at the end of it. If someone clicks on the ad, Revver makes money which they share with the video maker. Whenever I watched the clip here, there was an ad for a television show called Acceptable.TV at the end of it. (The ads are supposed to rotate, so you might get something different.) Acceptable.TV is basically a serialized sketch comedy show with an audience voting element and they have some type of product placement arrangement with Amp’d Mobile, a cell phone company.

Initially, the dude hosting would come out between the sketches and say something like, “Use your Amp’d Mobile phone or any mobile phone to vote!” That wasn’t so bad and obviously fit right in with the phone in aspect of the show. Then someone realized that the sketches go viral, not the interstitials, so they worked the Amp’d Mobile phone into a recurring sketch called Who’s Gonna Train Me?, a pretty funny spoof of boxing reality shows (man, that’s actually a fucking genre!). That’s not the clip I have here.

If you still want to watch the clip I have and you don’t see it on the page, you’ll probably have to click “Continue Reading.” I know that’s a little counterintuitive because you don’t read a video, but that’s what’s you have to do; except you might have to do something different if you’re reading this in an e-mail or RSS feed. The point is, I didn’t want to cram a video into a bunch of people’s inboxes (even if it is only 20 seconds long), so you’ll have to come to the site to see it. I’m sure there’s a link for you to click. . . somewhere.

Continue reading A quick clip and a funny thought (or is that the other way around?) →

Insomniac Non Sequitur

Zach Braff could take a few pointers from Jennifer Garner

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Scrubs In A Bucket

I’m watching the season finale of Scrubs right now and there was just a scene which was essentially a commercial for Travelocity. It’s an example of integrated advertising, the new buzzword for what used to be called product placement. It’s a hardly a new concept, but one that’s been getting a lot of attention lately, because the creative types are getting up in arms over it.

Continue reading Zach Braff could take a few pointers from Jennifer Garner →

Insomniac Non Sequitur

Ape Escape

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Escaped Gorilla at The Rotterdam Zoo
Little did they know of the danger lurking in the shadows behind them. . .

The picture above cracked my shit up for about thirty minutes straight when I first saw it about thirty minutes ago (Note: I added the gorilla’s thought bubble). It’s from an article about an escaped gorilla at The Rotterdam Zoo. The shit is so wacky that if I didn’t read it at the BBC news site, I wouldn’t have believed it was a true story. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not cool that a woman got hurt while the gorilla was courting her, but the photo illustrates how clueless everyone at the zoo was. I watch 24 and I realize that if you’re looking one way, someone real stealth-like can get the drop on you from behind, but wouldn’t you be able to smell a fucking gorilla?!? Is this gorilla Roddy McDowall? Was he using Degree antiperspirant or something? Topping it off, the zoo workers can’t even figure out how the gorilla managed to escape his cage; the second half of the article reads like a hybrid of Land of the Dead and King Kong. The zoo director is even impressed with the gorilla, gushing, “He got over the moat, which in itself is remarkable because gorillas can’t swim.” I like to think he used a tree branch to pole vault over the moat.

 

Insomniac Non Sequitur

I’m just a billy goat / trying to stay afloat

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Billy Gibbons
"How do you make a 'Z' with your fingers?"

I just finished watching the season finale of Bones. It took me a couple of hours because I kept dozing off and thought I was dreaming a lot of it; but I’d wake up and rewind it and realize that this a really weird show. If you ever wanted to see David Boreanaz and Ryan O’Neal reenact Fight Club, Bones is the show to watch. I thought I dreamed that shit, but I was awake and watching that part. I rewound that scene twice, I couldn’t process that shit was actually on the show.

Michaela Conlin
Michaela Conlin, quite possibly the hottest scientist on TV.

I’m still trying to figure out how ZZ Top is that really hot Asian scientist’s Dad. Well, not the whole band, just Billy Gibbons, and I mean Billy Gibbons; he’s not playing a role, he’s himself on the show. Man, if your show is about science and genetic type stuff, you need to explain shit like that. I mean, she’s a really, really hot Asian scientist and he’s. . . Billy Gibbons.

On a related note, best wishes to Dusty Hill.

Insomniac Non Sequitur

At least he didn’t get naked and play the bongos

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Sahara Movie Poster
"I'm not Superman, but I play him when I'm stoned!"

Sahara is on Showtime right now and it’s pretty good. I didn’t expect Matthew McConaughey to come off well as an action hero, but the movie is tailored to his strengths. I never read any of the Dirk Pitt books, but I know Clive Cussler was pissed that his rugged straight arrow hero became a freewheeling stoner hero. Mr. Cussler bad mouthed the movie before it was released, and tried to sue producers because it flopped and made his work look like shit. The jury disagreed with him, and now Mr. Cussler has to pay $5 million for defaming the movie. I’m not sure what’s worse: having to pay the five mill or being told you’re full of shit and need to get over yourself as the primary reason you have to pay the five mill in the first place.

It’s too bad, because this seems like it would make a really good franchise and Mr. McConaughey seemed poised to ride it all the way to being the 21st century Burt Reynolds. Maybe he can remake Smokey and The Bandit with Jessica Biel as Frog, Snoop Dogg as Cletus and R. Lee Ermey as Sheriff Justice, or join the cast of Ocean’s Whatever The Fuck Number They’re Up To At That Point.

HOLY SHIT!! He’s windsurfing a plane across the desert! A fucking plane!! I have to watch the end of this.

Insomniac Non Sequitur

But he was so nice on Scrubs!

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My friend who is seven time zones away checked out the blog and gave me some feedback. Since she hasn’t seen the latest season of 24, the conversation went something like this:

MY FRIEND
Ricky’s still so cute!!

ME
You wouldn’t have thought so if you saw him choke a bitch on 24.

MY FRIEND
Was it autoerotic asphyxiation?

ME
No, he was torturing her.

MY FRIEND
You don’t have a picture of that. You have a cute picture up.

I then explained that the episode aired about 6 weeks ago, when I didn’t have this blog. As such, I didn’t make screen caps or save the episode, because 24 has been kind of sucking lately (not hard, but just enough to annoy me, more on that in a bit). I did try to find screen caps of the torture scene, but didn’t come across any. I did find a video that has clips of the scene, but it’s kind of taken out of context.

Continue reading But he was so nice on Scrubs! →

Insomniac Non Sequitur

I got your pistil right here!

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Grease 2 movie poster
Grease 2 — The horniest sequel ever?!

So I’m watching Grease 2 on Cinemax right now. I haven’t seen it in years, and I never realized how fucking perverted it is. This is a hornier sequel than American Pie 2. It’s also kind of better. Maybe it isn’t. The closer it gets to the end, the more it starts to unravel; but it’s nearly impossible to dislike a movie in which a dude is so horny, he not only fakes a “nuclear-oid” war in order to get laid, he has the audacity to serenade his girl with a song assuring her that giving up the pussy is not slutty in the least, but is, in fact, patriotic and in the best interests of no less than The New York Yankees!

I get why they’re all so hot and bothered. The cast of Grease 2 is definitely sexy with a capital SEX. Michelle Pfeiffer is hotter than hell in this. I thought that my memory had exaggerated how hot she was singing Cool Rider, but watching the movie as a grown man, I find myself with a bigger crush on her than I had as a kid. When she climbs to the top of that ladder. . .

There isn’t any subtext in this movie whatsoever; there’s a musical number called Reproduction which actually contains the lyric:

Mr. Stewart, is it true that guys like you
You know, mature and all,
Carry some protection with them,
For sexual occasions?!?

I shit you not, that’s the lyric!! Check out the clip from the movie if you don’t believe me (before we get sued for a billion dollars):

Continue reading I got your pistil right here! →

Insomniac Non Sequitur

“Marijuana” Bundy

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David Faustino's Mugshot
"Dave's not here!"

David Faustino, best known as “Bud Bundy” on Married. . . With Children, got busted over the weekend for holding a gram of weed. In his defense, Dave’s last movie was called Puff, Puff, Pass, so he must have been employing “The Method.” Yeah, that mustbe it.

Read the story at TMZ.com.

Insomniac Non Sequitur

The point of this thing. . .

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Ricky Schroder and Marisol Nichols from the Fox Television Series, 24.
Ricky Schroder and Marisol Nichols from the Fox Television series, 24.

Well, I finally got a blog. I never wanted one before; since I have plenty of friends, I never really felt the need to vent to strangers. Lately, though, my work schedule has been a little varied, and as such my sleeping pattern has also varied. Since I have a TiVo, I am able to watch my shows at my leisure, so it’s cool, except that when real off the wall shit happens, I like to call my friends and tell them to flip it on. My sleep pattern has been making me kind of punchy; I tend to get so absorbed by what I’m watching that I forget it’s recorded. Over the last few weeks this has been a source of friction with my friends, as I tend to call them in the middle of the night yelling stuff like, “Holy shit! Locke’s Pop is Sawyer’s Moby Dick!!” or “Holy shit! Ricky Schroder is choking a bitch!!”

Continue reading The point of this thing. . . →